Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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