Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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