Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
