I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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