I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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