pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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