it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
