I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
