On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
