you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love you. Go after that dick
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize