i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
