He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
