but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
