don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
