ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
