i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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