One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
