Your mouth is God's brothel.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
