sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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