Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
