Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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