I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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