Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
