Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
