I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
