Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
MIDGETS
????
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
