She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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