she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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