Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
