i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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