Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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