i don't like sucking hair
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
