so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just googled if crying burns calories
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
