I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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