There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Randomize
