I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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