i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize