Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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