Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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