she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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