Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
