He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize