I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
