You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
