jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
