hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
