there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
