Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
