Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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