I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
