Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
