is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
