On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
