the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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