I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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