she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ttyl tear gas
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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