Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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