his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Im just a social blackout drinker.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
