You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
