walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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