If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
