p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
