is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
