Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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