Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
